Fwd: A Global Pie Roundup

Agent Smiley (smiley_777@hotmail.com)
Thu, 25 Mar 1999 10:49:31 PST


----Original Message Follows----
From: SonSun1770@aol.com
To: smiley_777@hotmail.com, 
ravenz_nest_activism@onelist.com,under_the_gun@onelist.com
Subject: A Global Pie Roundup
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 1999 13:30:33 EST

To:  wall-list@igc.apc.org  
 From:  Joe Keating <keats@teleport.com> 
 Subject:  WALL: A Global Pie Roundup 

Hi Folks Oh so sweet. Slightly off msg but the BBB have conducted major 
pieing
operations in defense of our forests (Hurwitz & Raines) and hold a noble
position as a force for the good. Joe
______________________________________________________________________________
__ Days and Nights of Love and Flan. . . . A Global Pie Roundup As the 
seconds
tick toward the millenium and capital seeks to strengthen its hegemony, 
more
pies are flying as a response to this madness. This post is a collection 
of
recent pie news from outside of Amerika (as Franz Kafka would spell our
country), and a domestic BBB report will follow shortly. We are truly
experiencing a global pastry uprising. But as Dr. Martin Luther King 
once
said, "If a man [sic] hasn't found something he will pie for, he isn't 
fit to
live." A rejoinder to militant peaceniks who see violence in these 
lovely
pies: No Pastry, No Peace! Let slip the pies of war, Agent Apple for the 
BBB
---------------------------------------------------- CONTENTS 1) Dutch 
pie-ers
sentenced to four weeks in jail 2) Belgian Minister Miet Smet Pied 
(Twice),
Spanish politician given just desserts as well 3) Attorney General of 
British
Columbia creamed 4) Les Entartistes solidarity action for the "CP3" 5)
Canadian student union exec given just desserts 6) Attempted pie action
against Lord Sainsbury 7) Internet pastry wars 8) A set of pastry haikus 
9)
Pie websites ---------------------------------------------------- Two 
Dutch
pie-ers who pied Thielen, a politician in Nijmegen (the man was 
promoting a
desastrous remodeling of the inner city of Nijmegen) have been sentenced 
to
four weeks in jail, of which two on probation. The action was claimed by 
the
"Biotic Baking Brigade--Nijmegen". The two activists had been arrested 
on the
act after delivering two pies in Thielens face, but were released after 
two
days. Judge Verkade decided on march 12 that the piers had "disrupted a 
public
event" and had "insulted" the politician. The BBB-Nijmege, along with 
fellow
Dutch militants TAART, have performed three other recent pieings: .. The 
mayor
of Noordwijk .. The rightwing frontman Bolkesteijn .. Secretary of the
Economie Zalm at the introduction of the Euro Contact TAART via
---------------------------------------------------- In Belgium the 
"Collectif
Autonome de Chomeurs" (CACH) pied the Belgian Minister of Labour on 
March 8
(womens day). She had just handed out the Marie Claire-award for the
"business-woman of the year" and got hit by two pies (with lots of 
whipped
cream). The winner of the award was Hedwige Nuyens, director of the huge 
Dutch
bank ANB-AMRO. The action was done by fifty persons who shouted slogans
against the way the minister treats unemployed people (she thinks most
unemployed are frauds and will start working if they receive even less
benefit-money). A message from Spain comes a bit late, but no reason not 
to
mention it: Somewhere in Spain Carles Campuzano, member of the Spanish 
congres
for the Catalan party CiU (Convergencie i Unita) got pied twice in 
January. It
was done by a collective to support draftresisters. The pieing had to be 
done
because Campuzano had refused to vote for a law decriminalizing draft-
resisting. (This was a message from Liberal Animation Prods.)
------------------------------------------------------------- At 
approximately
3:30pm today, March 4, BC Attorney General Ujjal Dosanjh was pied after
speaking to a criminology audience at Simon Fraser University in 
Burnaby, BC.
After claiming that BC is the "most progressive province", he 
sidessteped
questions pertaining to Aboriginal rights, and his pivotal role in the
Gustafsen Lake assault. He denied ownership of two direct quotes: 1. 
"All the
violence that has emanated so far, has emanated from the renegades." 
(Speaking
about Gustafsen Lake on Voice of the Province T.V. show, 13/08/95) 2. 
"This is
not really a nation. All I care is what the limitations, restrictions,
restraints upon their rights are... The Nisga'a Nation would have 
attributes
in this treatey, no more no less. This is all they get, this is all the 
rights
they have [smiling]. I don't care if they call themselves Tribal Council 
or
Nation." (Nisga'a Treaty debate, 19/01/99) After the talk, a press scrum
formed at the front of the lecture theatre. A concerned student 
approached the
Attorney General and hit him full in the face with a 9" lemon meringue 
pie. It
made a satisfying "phoomp" sound, after arching gracefully through the 
air. A
supporter yelled "That's for Gustafsen Lake" as several others 
distributed
flyers, the text of which is reprinted below: Why pie Ujjal? As Attorney
General (AG) of BC Ujjal Dosanjh oversaw the 1995 siege of the Ts'peten
Sundancers at Gustafsen Lake. Although the RCMP & AG insisted they were
dealing with a criminal situation, the siege was actually planned four 
months
in advance. The RCMP wanted to end the "yearly headache [of dispute of 
an
American cattle rancher's alleged ownership of the land] once and for 
all"
(Staff Sgt. Martin Sarich). The RCMP's own investigation revealed that 
the
rancher, Lyle James, actually only had grazing rights to the land in 
question.
The land has never been sold or ceded by treaty. Two Native RCMP 
officers,
Woods & Findley, resigned in the wake of RCMP mishandling of the affair. 
On
August 27, 1995, the RCMP staged a false ambush. Officers 'Rocky' & 
Molendyk
claimed they were shot in the back while inside their vehicle, saved 
only by
their flak jackets. However, liaison officers Montague & Ward later 
admitted
(on tape!): "This is not the first time we've had to take flak jackets 
to the
firing range." The bullets shot through the car matched the calibre of 
the
RCMP's bullets (.9mm), not the Defenders. This incident was used as
justification to persuade a reluctant military to loan the use of 
several
Bison Armoured Personnel Carriers and support staff. While the military
refused to also allow the use of .50 calibre guns, the RCMP arranged to
purchase some from an independent American arms dealer, with help from 
the
FBI. On September 11, 1995, the RCMP used plastic explosive as a 
landmine to
blow up a truck being driven by two defenders and carrying a dog. The
defenders miraculously escaped, unarmed, under a hail of 20 000 bullets. 
The
dog was shot 7 times. To all this & more, Dosanjh says: "There's 
absolutely no
need for any other inquiry... There is no other side to this story, 
there is
only one side to this story." (The Province, 08/24/95). Silly Ujjal! 
Even
little kids know there's at least two sides to EVERY story. RCMP lies &
resignations, bombings, imported guns, the military & FBI... HELL YES 
there
should be a comprehensive public inquiry into all this, including 
Ujjal's
role! So today we throw pie in your eye, Ujjal. The pie was carefully
selected: lemon meringe, sticky like the mess you find yourself in; old 
&
stale, just like the lies you've spread & excuses you've used to keep 
the
truth about what went down at Gustafsen Lake a secret from the people of
British Columbia & Canada. We're gonna make it stick. Contact with the 
pie
brigade can be made by email, c/o aravancouver@hotmail.com
----------------------------------------------------------- Our comrades 
in
the l'Internationale des Anarchos-Patissiers (the notorious 
International Pie-
Throwing Anarchists' movement), Les Entartistes of Montreal, recently
performed a solidarity action at the American consulate. Check out their
brilliant web site at: http://www.dsuper.net/~aboyeur/tarte.html Below 
is an
account from an operative named Pope-Tart to the BBB: "Gloup gloup 
again, dear
friends! Well, well, well... First of all, we can say that our absurd
manifestation at the american consulate this morning did get some 
attention,
and gave us loads of fun as well... We protested against the 
emprisonment of
the "Cherry Pie 3" there, and medias came to capture the moment. The 
guards
locked the door over there at the consulate, being so scared of us (did 
I say
we were all disguised as clowns?), and wouldn't let us enter. Some 
american
citizens over there showed some concern, we meet with a marine man who 
said he
knew the Mayor Brown personnally and would tell him about his Montreal
encounter of pie-throwers protesters, and also that he supported the
liberation of the "Cherry Pie 3" as well. Then, we asked to meet the 
consul,
because we had a pie for her and a letter of complaint as well (a copy 
of the
letter sended to Amnesty International). The guards of the consulate 
were
laughing but would not let us in. We said we would declare pie-war on 
all
americans if they don't release the three San Francisco entarteur's, and 
were
getting ready to throw the pie at the big US symbol over the door, when 
our
own national police (the RCMP) showed up. They were laughing as well, 
and one
of the big RCMP guy decided he would deliver the pie and the letter for 
us,
because we couldn't get inside. He posed for the media with the pie, 
then
really went in to deliver it to the consulate, as well as the letter of
protest for the liberation of the BBB trio. It probably ain't much in 
the way
of liberating our friends, but it is a good beginning for this campaign,
crusade for a good laugh instead of a bomb and a happiness pie-protest 
around
the world instead of militias. We really have to act this one as court
jester's, but in here, it's starting really well. We won't let go of 
this, you
can be sure that at the very least, Mayor Brown is going to get laugh at
internationally, a few more american power figure will get it than the 
usual,
and in the very best, they will release our friends, but we just won't 
quit,
that's for sure!" "It`s a great honor for anyone to get pied." --Jean
Chretien, Prime Minister of Canada
----------------------------------------------------------- Clearly, 
Canada
has become a hot bed of what Belgium Pieman Noel Godin calls "cream
psychosis," as the pie wars have fired up to a hot point in the Great 
White
North. From the plains of Manitoba, a new spectre has emerged to haunt 
the
nation: balaclava-clad, pie-slinging Canadian womyn! What follows is a 
press
release and manifesto of the Balaklava Bakers (BB). CASA EXECUTIVE 
DIRECTOR
EATS HUMBLE PIE At approximately 7:00 p.m. at a Wednesday, January 27 
council
meeting of the University of Manitoba Students' Union, Hoops Harrison,
Executive Director of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations, 
Canada's
second-largest national student organization, was struck in the face 
with
three cream pies hurled by three assailants in balaclavas and skirts who 
ran
into the meeting room and subsequently escaped via a side door. The
indentities of the pie-throwers is currently unknown. Dumbstruck 
councillors
looked around in confusion at the unexpected incident. One councillor
remarked, "What the hell was that?" After retiring to a washroom to 
clean
himself up, Harrison told the assembled council, "I don't really mind; a 
lot
of cool people have gotten pied." Notable pie-ing victims of the past 
few
months include Microsoft CEO Bill Gates, actor Sylvestor Stallone and 
San
Francisco mayor Willie Brown. One recent attempt to pie Millenium 
Scholarship
Fund chair Jean Monty failed due to what the assailants described as 
"really
good security." ******The Balaklava Bakers' 'WOMYNIFESTO' ***** It is
inevitable that those who live in a state of overstuffed depravity and 
who
demonstrate utter disdain for justice and kindness will have to answer 
to the
pie! Where there is pompous misrepresentation by arrogant authority, 
there
will be pie. Where there is a glut of self-interest at the expense of 
justice,
there will be pie. Where there is a constant surge of dullness pouring 
from a
pretentious fuckwit, there will be pie. Where there is abuse of power, 
where
there is abuse of others, there will be pie. The pie will course down 
and fall
from their faces onto their sweatshop-made shirts as does the rancid 
scum of
their capitalist excess onto the fabric of our lives. It will hide 
itself in
every cavity and in every breach. The pie will locate and expose 
weakness and
ooze itself into every fissure in the wall of oppression until it is 
forced to
crack and crumble. But the pie is not only an agent of ridicule and
destruction - it is also an instrument of compassion and vitality. Where 
there
is hunger, there will be pie. Where there is community-building, there 
will be
pie. Where there is need of strength for insurrection, there will be 
pie. And
the pie will be sweet and tasty. It will be vegan and nutritious. It 
will have
a light and flaky crust. Those who live in a state of active goodwill in
solidarity with the Balaklava Bakers have no pastry to fear. Those who 
see
themselves in the BB's described target criteria (and those too full of
temerity to do so) must beware. They will have to answer to the pie. It 
is
inevitable! ------------------------------------------------ Date sent: 
Sun, 7
Mar 1999 11:10:04 -0800 (PST) From: Pallas Anonymous Remailer Subject:
Attempted Pie Action against Lord Sainsbury It has come to our attention 
that
on Friday 5th February the group Welsh Action Against Genetics (WAAG)
attempted to pie the UK governments science minister Lord David 
Sainsbury
while he was on a tour of Swansea University. One WAAG activist failed 
in
their mission to deliver a organic cream pie into the face of Lord 
Sainsbury
though they did get very close. Nevertheless the government minister was
forced to scuttle around the university and hide sheepishly in doorways 
as
other activists attempted follow up actions. The minister was last seen 
been
bundled into a car and being sped away from his group of "admirers". 
David
Sainsbury is the owner of a company which has owns genetic patents and 
despite
this being in a blind trust he is still profiting from genetically 
modified
food. It is claimed by the government that he does not attend any 
meetings
were there is a conflict of interest, in particular on genetic issues. 
This is
a very odd position for a science minister to be in and does not 
preclude him
recieving and dealing with sensitive reports on the issues. WAAG 
believes that
there should be an immediate moratorium on genetically modified foods. 
The
business interests behind these developments do not care for human 
health or
the environment. This action should be seen as part of the wider 
campaign
against genetic engineering. 
------------------------------------------------
The global pastry uprising has spread to the internet. Now, anyone can 
throw a
virtual pie from the safety and convenience of their own home:
http://www.3rdm.net/pie-face/ 
------------------------------------------------
A delicious set of haikus from dennis fritzinger of the Warrior Poets 
Society:
outside in the streets everything is calm: the pie cooling on the sill 
it's in
the oven! cherries, sugar bubbling-- baking a nation washington chopped 
down
the cherry tree--couldn't stop revolution, though sunlight sprinkling 
the
cherry with small blossoms-- soon to be sweet fruit everybody wants--
redwoods, yellowstone, and bears-- their piece of the pie let's tear 
down the
dams! then let's plant the rubble with year-old cherry trees
------------------------------------------------ Pie websites: Belgian 
pieman
Noel Godin, Links to Bill Gates Pie Incident
http://www.cinenet.net/users/jaybab/noel.html TAART: Holland Pie group
http://members.tripod.com/taart History of American Pie-slinging
http://www.pieman.org ------------------------------------------------
........and a pie leapt up and a pie leapt up Once! Twice! and Again! 
(Thank
you, Rudyard Kipling) 
*************************************************** *
Friends of the BBB: 3288 21st #92, San Francisco, CA, 94110, Amerika. * 
*
bbb_apple@hotmail.com * * Website under construction, coming soon to 
service
provider near you * ***************************************************
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http://www.orwildlife.org
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