Fw: !!!!
H. C. Covington (ach1@sprynet.com)
Tue, 20 Jan 1998 10:20:42 -0600
Forward:
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked
himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life.
Well, 'til the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on
The shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...Nothing.
Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day
when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In
disbelief,
he asks her:
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed
here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash
up with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from
gumtree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the
sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-- but, th-th-that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had
no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side
of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.I
found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to
make the hardware. No biggie.
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place, " she says. After a few minutes of
rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks
onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone
walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven
hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As
they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call
it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No. No thank you," he says, still dazed. " Truthfully, can't take any
more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina
Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they
sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories,
the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs
in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its
end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines --
(strategically positioned) -- and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins,
suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a
very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure
you really feel like doing right now, something you've been
longing for all these months? You know..... " She stares into his
eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replies,
"-- I can check my e-mail from here?"