A little toilet humor

Judy Olsen (wholepie@speakeasy.org)
Mon, 15 Feb 1999 16:43:29 -0800

Date: February 16, 1999

To: All employees

From: Human Resources

Re: New Restroom Trip Policy Will Flush Malingerers

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom
under informal guidelines.  However, effective March 1, 1999, a Restroom
Trip Policy will be established to provide a consistent method of
accounting for each employee=92s restroom time and ensuring equal
treatment of all employees.

Under this policy, a Restroom Trip Bank will be established for each
employee.  On the first day of each month, employees will be given a
Restroom Trip Credit of 20.  Restroom Trip Credits can be accumulated
from month to month.

Currently, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with
personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print
recognition.  During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide
two (2) copies of voice prints (one normal, one under stress) to Human
Resources.  The voice print recognition stations will be operational,
but not restrictive, for the next two (2) weeks-- employees should
acquaint themselves with the stations during this period.

If an employee=92s Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to
all restrooms will NOT unlock for that employee=92s voice until the first=

of the  following month.

In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed
paper-roll retractors.  If the stall is occupied for more than three (3)
minutes, an alarm will sound.  Thirty (30) seconds after the alarm
sounds, the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will
flush and the stall door will open.

If you have any questions about the new policy, please ask you