Fw: McDonald's Application

Graeme Bacque (gbacque@idirect.com)
Sat, 24 Apr 1999 04:00:26 -0400


 ----------original message-----------------
 Subject: Fwd: McDonald's Application
 Date: Thursday, April 22, 1999 5:50 AM
 
 This is an actual job application someone submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!
(editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)
 
 NAME: Greg Bulmash
 
 DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA .But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.
 
 DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and
 we can haggle.
 
EDUCATION: Yes.
 
 LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
 
 SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
 
 MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.
.
 
 REASON  FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
 
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
 
 PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
 
 DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited
to a more intimate environment.
 
 MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?
 
 DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
 
 DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here
would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
 
 HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
may already be a winner of the Publishers clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
 
 DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
 
 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that
now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
 
 SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.