[Hpn] your guess may be better than mine

Bonnie Briggs s248_1132@hotmail.com
Tue, 06 Feb 2001 23:26:37 +0000


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<P>&gt;I just used my 1/2 hr. a day turn on the 1 computer officially on the internet here at my local library. ( there are a couple of "catalog" systems that have an unofficial, suspiciosly accidental backdoors online that I use to check email when it is slow here) I went to Bonnie's site. Thanks for the URL the other day Bonnie. </P>
<P>Bonnie here...</P>
<P>&nbsp; You're welcome. Glad you liked my site. Did you see any of my other sites?</P>
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<P>&gt; While there is nothing "easy" about being homeless I was upset by what I read. Not with Bonnie but because it struck several nerves on my personal level. </P>
<P>&nbsp; That's what it's supposed to do.</P>
<P>The economic aspects are barely endurable: the conditions frankly suck (and I have had it easier than so much of what I've read , to be truthful. I've had lots of luck I didn't deserve.) but the worst part to me has to be in what happens in interpersonal relationships. I was sure that as I read more that Bonnie and Kerre ( forgive me if I spelt his name wrong )</P>
<P>&nbsp; No,&nbsp;you spelled it right.&nbsp;</P>
<P>would be driven apart by circumstances and the maybe well-intentioned acts of others ( i say maybe as I know too many who enjoy another's misery)</P>
<P>&nbsp; We stayed together and we are still together although physically seperated. &nbsp;</P>
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<P>&gt; At times like this I was always told that people "come together" in mutual aid and caring. Bonnie, I don't know how you guys made it, you have my respect and quite frankly my envy as well. </P>
<P>&nbsp; Thanks. We made it because Kerre had been homeless before and also because of his survival training when he was in the Canadian Army Reserves.</P>
<P>I find that Much I went through so corrosive to my spirit that it affects how I relate. And that it ended most of my relationships. So where the hell were those close family members we all have? </P>
<P>&nbsp; Good question. Our families abandoned us when they found out we were homeless. To my family, I was a "disgrace to the family", "a bag lady". </P>
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<P>&gt;The one voice of encouragement I had was in no position to do anything for me and she paid a heavy price to maintain our friendship when others well turned on us. And most of them... yeah unfortunately some I can't go into because it affects another and I don't think I'd have her permission to discus what is basically her business. </P>
<P>&nbsp; No problem, I understand.</P>
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<P>&gt; So how do we deal with these family and friends who seem to not give a damn? Do we just forgive them and go on? Wish I was good at that, not one of my fortes. </P>
<P>&nbsp; I just stay away from my family and contact them occasionally on the phone. They never liked&nbsp;my husband from the moment they met him and they blame him for us being homeless and for me being independent now. I learned to stand up to them and they hate that. They are also right-wing capitalists as well as being homophobic. They don't understand my life or my work, nor do they want to. They don't like homeless people either.</P>
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<P>&gt; It is just that on top of everything else this abandonment seems so cruel to me. So uncalled for and so unexpected. </P>
<P>&nbsp; Yeah, it was totally unexpected. Even my best and closest friend who I had grown up with wanted nothing to do with us once we were homeless. </P>
<P>But whenever I read someone's testimonial about their homelessness it strikes me as this is the worst part of it all. </P>
<P>&nbsp; It was the worst part, all we had was each other. </P>
<P>Don't know, maybe I need to grow up, or whatever, and not give a damn about what my family did. </P>
<P>&nbsp; The way I see it, my husband and I have our lives, our families have theirs and neither the twain shall meet.</P>
<P>Maybe I should tell my 28 year old daughter to go fuck off - not that we talk . </P>
<P>&nbsp; If she's homeless, don't&nbsp;tell her that. Have an open mind, find out why she's homeless, it may not be her fault. If she doesn't want to come home, at least be willing to listen and maybe give her a bit of food or money now and then. </P>
<P>Though all I've read by others tells me that what our old friends and old family have done is desicable. </P>
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<P>&gt; It is worse than the idea that "I'll feed you but you gotta listen to my sermon" some endorse. </P>
<P>&nbsp; It is, although I don't believe in forcing people to listen to a sermon or to pray for food. This is arrogance. Not everyone believes in God. What about other faiths and religons? If God is recognized, then other beliefs should be recognized as well, including agnosticism and atheism. Also, feeding the soul doesn't feed the stomach.</P>
<P>And not only is that a tremendous act of ego ( the sin of pride) but is actually very unChristian. I know these people will quote the loaves and fishes bit right now but the truth being that they get it wrong. That was not payment (a bribe) to listen, it was done because it was needed -his duty whether or not he ever said anything ever. That is the point. </P>
<P>&nbsp; Jesus was only feeding the people who had sat on the hill for hours listening to him preach. They were there by their own choice, not because they had to be. People were hungry, Jesus fed them. End of story. </P>
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<DIV></DIV>&gt; There is something so unChristian about most "christian" services. 
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<P>&gt; I'm glad I got to read Bonnie's pages. Like reading The Tedrico pages it gives me hope. Something I treasure much more than sleeping on that stupid thin blue mat at the Salvation Army floor ever will be. </P>
<P>&nbsp; Great. That's why we wrote that story, in the hope that it would help someone else avoid what we went through, to educate people about life on the street, and to show that there is a way out.</P>
<P>Maybe it is that in a few days I'm going to be 52 or that there are certain emotional hurdles I'm never going to clear but I find it hard to express some things and family is at the heart of it all for good and for bad. I hope I'm making some sense and not just making myself into a fool. </P>
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<P>&gt;&nbsp; No, you're making perfect sense. Happy Birthday. I'm going to be 48 this year, in May. &nbsp;Thanks for your kind words. Good luck to you in the future. </P>
<P>Bonnie</P>
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