[Hpn] Look again, uncle

Lucinda Houston lucy@efn.org
Mon, 6 Nov 2000 00:44:25 -0800


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Article 25:2

(2)  Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and =
assistance.  All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall =
enjoy the same social protection.

Society couldn't forsee the future or consequences of what freedoms we =
were given.  In one respect, it has been a great adventure in the =
ability to break away from situations and people who made us =
uncomfortable, allowing us to explore with our own minds and feelings =
and become more attuned and independent in thought and feeling.  (Making =
human decisions based on our diverse experience).
Cigarettes are a health hazard, if you smoke them you're likely to be =
looked upon with disgust.  However, we was born into a society which =
promoted them.  If I picked up a cigarette one day and started smoking =
it, because it was so popular and attractive, did society fail me, or =
did I fail me.  (They are still on the market and still seem popular and =
attractive to children).
Where does commercialism end and humanity begin.  What influence does =
big business, money and power have on our lives and our consumerism.
I suppose you can give away your babies instead of keeping them because =
you can't afford them, but too many friends have shared with me about =
sexual relationships they were having with grown men in their families =
while they were children.  (Both male and female, eg Richard, who was =
adopted at age three from a Catholic organization, whose father raped =
him throughout his childhood ..a lot more stories than that).
What does reality and our awareness have to do with our decisions.
Perhaps if society chose to learn from our adventures and use the =
information to devise more secure birth control methods and (realistic) =
education, it would be helpful to future generations.
I had a choice from the beginning whether to follow conventional paths =
or unconventional paths.  I followed those unconventional ones.  So did =
a lot of other people I noticed.  Did I influence others or did others =
influence me?
I recall my friend Mary's mother saying that she got married as a teen =
to get out of her parents house.
Well, maybe teens who get pregnant for one thing, discovered that they =
kind of liked the idea of sex, intimacy.  Then again, having a baby (not =
for me, I was just exploring the former which led to the latter) was a =
ticket to independence ie a welfare check and a ticket out of your =
parents home.
Of course their parents were probably hard and overbearing because of =
their fear.  (and yet they'd never suspect how crafty and resourceful a =
teen can be).
Then there are the relationships with men.  (from a woman/mothers =
perspective).  One, the welfare system discouraged two parent =
households, and mothers didn't want to have to rely on these guys for =
financial support and life means, however, they did want the romance.  I =
have always maintained the right to independence and freedom of choice =
in that regards, mother or no.  (Though I do believe in the strength of =
relationships and have encouraged and helped promote every friend and =
friends partner who seemed to have obtained a successful one).
Of course, I see it in me.  Stressing out with my children because of =
the fear, the anxiety, an effect of living in this society as it is, and =
the way I'm living in it.
I sometimes wonder if my son would have turned out a little different if =
we'd had stability and lots of friends to visit and socialize with, like =
when I was a child.  He is adhd and maybe beyond.  In his critical =
developing years we were blowing with the wind, I was dealing with =
anxiety sickness due to some real misadventures, when I went to Arkansas =
for respite, and took a job.  He was dealing with babysitters.. who =
slapped him, switched him, beat the hell out of their children in front =
of him.. let's see, I went through three providers, all of which I paid =
out of pocket, before the store manager turned me on to her own =
provider, who was like a miracle for me (and my son).  Gee, one of the =
major determining factors that made me lose control of my circumstances =
and go into a complete state of anxiety just before going to Arkansas =
(from Oregon) was because I'd become aware of daily abusive treatment, a =
sitter who was forcing my children to lay in bed all day, and used =
violence on my not old enough to speak son, to get him down (wasn't =
quite his lively spirit, energy or nature).  She split his lip in two, =
smacking him to force him to lay down, the day before I was made aware.  =
When I confronted her with what I'd been told and asked her for her =
response to it, she became violent tempered and started screaming.  When =
she told me she was the only one I had to sit for the kids (during those =
long hours, I was driving taxi) and smiled smugly as if she had me in a =
bind, I let her go.  I didn't feel like sacrificing my children a moment =
longer, and I was sorry that I couldn't have predicted and prevented it =
altogether.
I immediately gave up my taxi job (gave reason and it was respected and =
understood), took another driving job (contractor job), with shorter =
hours, only to find out they were tricksters about the money, and after =
two weeks discovered that I had completely lost my ass (and ability to =
continue to pay the rent and bills, I gave notice feeling there was =
absolutely no other alternative).  That and add a few more completely =
aggravating factors coming from diverse directions, and that's what led =
me to the doctor's.
I managed to spare my children further cruelty and mistreatment, only to =
land in another territory in which they got more, well, actually he got =
more.  He's so aggressive now that he is hardly managable.  He breaks =
and tears up a lot and his behavior is most offensive and unruly but he =
seems quite unaware of it.
Though he once played quite innocently and well with other children.=20
He still has cuddly sweet tender ways, but he used to be all cuddly and =
sweet natured.
He did fine in camps though.  Them ruffians knew just how to use the =
right amount of ruffian voice to keep redirecting a kid who's built =
strong and tough (and defiant) like him.  He had a lot more fun playing =
with other children too. =20
Funny, but true.









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Article 25:2
 
(2)  Motherhood and = childhood are=20 entitled to special care and assistance.  All children, whether = born in or=20 out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.
 
Society couldn't forsee the future = or=20 consequences of what freedoms we were given.  In one respect, it = has been a=20 great adventure in the ability to break away from situations and people = who made=20 us uncomfortable, allowing us to explore with our own minds and feelings = and=20 become more attuned and independent in thought and feeling.  = (Making human=20 decisions based on our diverse experience).
Cigarettes are a health hazard, if = you smoke=20 them you're likely to be looked upon with disgust.  However, we was = born=20 into a society which promoted them.  If I picked up a cigarette one = day and=20 started smoking it, because it was so popular and attractive, did = society fail=20 me, or did I fail me.  (They are still on the market and still seem = popular=20 and attractive to children).
Where does commercialism end and = humanity=20 begin.  What influence does big business, money and power have on = our lives=20 and our consumerism.
I suppose you can give away your babies instead of = keeping=20 them because you can't afford them, but too many friends have shared = with me=20 about sexual relationships they were having with grown men in their = families=20 while they were children.  (Both male and female, eg Richard, who = was=20 adopted at age three from a Catholic organization, whose father raped = him=20 throughout his childhood ..a lot more stories than that).
What does reality and our awareness have to do with = our=20 decisions.
Perhaps if society chose to learn from our = adventures and use=20 the information to devise more secure birth control methods and = (realistic)=20 education, it would be helpful to future generations.
I had a choice from the beginning whether to follow=20 conventional paths or unconventional paths.  I followed those=20 unconventional ones.  So did a lot of other people I noticed.  = Did I=20 influence others or did others influence me?
I recall my friend Mary's mother saying that she got = married=20 as a teen to get out of her parents house.
Well, maybe teens who get pregnant for one thing, = discovered=20 that they kind of liked the idea of sex, intimacy.  Then again, = having a=20 baby (not for me, I was just exploring the former which led to the = latter) was a=20 ticket to independence ie a welfare check and a ticket out of your = parents=20 home.
Of course their parents were probably hard and = overbearing=20 because of their fear.  (and yet they'd never suspect how crafty = and=20 resourceful a teen can be).
Then there are the relationships with men.  = (from a=20 woman/mothers perspective).  One, the welfare system discouraged = two parent=20 households, and mothers didn't want to have to rely on these guys for = financial=20 support and life means, however, they did want the romance.  I have = always=20 maintained the right to independence and freedom of choice in that = regards,=20 mother or no.  (Though I do believe in the strength of = relationships and=20 have encouraged and helped promote every friend and friends partner who = seemed=20 to have obtained a successful one).
Of course, I see it in me.  Stressing out with = my=20 children because of the fear, the anxiety, an effect of living in this = society=20 as it is, and the way I'm living in it.
I sometimes wonder if my son would have turned out a = little=20 different if we'd had stability and lots of friends to visit and = socialize with,=20 like when I was a child.  He is adhd and maybe beyond.  In his = critical developing years we were blowing with the wind, I was dealing = with=20 anxiety sickness due to some real misadventures, when I went to Arkansas = for=20 respite, and took a job.  He was dealing with babysitters.. who = slapped=20 him, switched him, beat the hell out of their children in front of him.. = let's=20 see, I went through three providers, all of which I paid out of pocket, = before=20 the store manager turned me on to her own provider, who was like a = miracle for=20 me (and my son).  Gee, one of the major determining factors that = made me=20 lose control of my circumstances and go into a complete state of anxiety = just=20 before going to Arkansas (from Oregon) was because I'd become aware of = daily=20 abusive treatment, a sitter who was forcing my children to lay in bed = all day,=20 and used violence on my not old enough to speak son, to get him down = (wasn't=20 quite his lively spirit, energy or nature).  She split his lip in = two,=20 smacking him to force him to lay down, the day before I was made = aware. =20 When I confronted her with what I'd been told and asked her for her = response to=20 it, she became violent tempered and started screaming.  When she = told me=20 she was the only one I had to sit for the kids (during those long hours, = I was=20 driving taxi) and smiled smugly as if she had me in a bind, I let her = go. =20 I didn't feel like sacrificing my children a moment longer, and I was = sorry that=20 I couldn't have predicted and prevented it altogether.
I immediately gave up my taxi job (gave reason and = it was=20 respected and understood), took another driving job (contractor job), = with=20 shorter hours, only to find out they were tricksters about the money, = and after=20 two weeks discovered that I had completely lost my ass (and ability to = continue=20 to pay the rent and bills, I gave notice feeling there was absolutely no = other=20 alternative).  That and add a few more completely aggravating = factors=20 coming from diverse directions, and that's what led me to the=20 doctor's.
I managed to spare my children further cruelty and=20 mistreatment, only to land in another territory in which they got more, = well,=20 actually he got more.  He's so aggressive now that he is hardly=20 managable.  He breaks and tears up a lot and his behavior is most = offensive=20 and unruly but he seems quite unaware of it.
Though he once played quite innocently and well with = other=20 children. 
He still has cuddly sweet tender ways, but he used = to be all=20 cuddly and sweet natured.
He did fine in camps though.  Them ruffians = knew just how=20 to use the right amount of ruffian voice to keep redirecting a kid who's = built=20 strong and tough (and defiant) like him.  He had a lot more fun = playing=20 with other children too. 
Funny, but true.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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