[Hpn] Blaming people who are homeless: A personal account

Morgan W. Brown morganbrown@hotmail.com
Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:52:03 -0500


Just had a hot but brief encounter with a do-gooder type who I had allowed 
to be helpful to me in certain limited ways even though I knew to be careful 
and guarded with them. At their insistence last year, they began storing 
some of my stuff for me. I had kept refusing their offers of help several 
times at first, but finally accepted in the end. This individual can be very 
imposing and persistent when they want to help someone.

Anyway, I figured from several clues - including obvious statements from 
them - that they blamed me for my situation, etc. Today he finally stated 
such in the open directly to me. It is bad enough to be aware that someone 
has these attitudes, but it is even far worse when they find ways for a 
person to trust them and allow them to help and then they turn on you with 
judgmental attitudes, blame, put downs and negativity. We are not close 
friends either, though they seem to act like they are. None of what they 
said to me is true either, not even close, but it is extremely harmful for 
me to be treated in this way.

I did not do anything either except be a little late for when we were 
supposed to meet. At their insistence, they were bringing me my stuff so I 
could take what winter stuff I might need. We met at his car near one of the 
public access online sites I go to.

Right off after I got there, when they asked about bringing my stuff to my 
place (when they knew I had no place of my own), they started in with a 
statement of accusation of "Why is that Morgan?!!!" and all the rest which 
comes with it. They stated that they could not believe that I could not find 
a place to live. He said that he had begun to suspect that it was me that 
was at fault.

I got out of there real fast without my stuff since I have no way to carry 
it or anywhere to store it. They dumped it on the sidewalk where it can stay 
for all I care. As I was walking away, they kept yelling at me saying things 
like "You want to be homeless".

I know for a fact that this person is use to working with people who submit 
and who give up being independent in any sense.

That is the last I will ever be in contact with that individual and now I 
will be less trusting of others even more than I have been. Very convenient 
for those who either quietly or not so quietly blame me for the 
circumstances I am in since this will only harm me and prevent me from 
getting support I would need and otherwise be open to. Plus my stuff is left 
to rot on the street since I refuse to touch it. I have no where to store it 
anyway. The place I have - which is in Montpelier - to store some of my 
stuff has no more room for anything more either.

As if I needed to be reminded what people really think of me. To be 
basically told that they know better what is best for me and that if only I 
let them or others do things for me and take control of my life for me that 
my problems would be taken care of.

I went through something similar last year as well.

I wish that he and others would leave me and others alone if that is how 
they are. Fact is that I did not seek him out or his help either in the 
first place. Without my asking them to, someone else had asked him to help 
me so I guess he felt he had to or whatever.

Just so you know, while this event is hurtful to me and makes me extremely 
angry, I am not sharing this with you because I feel sorry for myself or 
because I want or need you or others to feel sorry for me either. The plain 
and straight fact is that I don't.

PHUCK IT!!! :-<< [major frown while biting hard on my lower lip]

I just wanted someone else to know.

Morgan <morganbrown@hotmail.com>
Morgan W. Brown

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