[Hpn] Blaming people who are homeless: A personal account
Morgan W. Brown
Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:52:03 -0500
Just had a hot but brief encounter with a do-gooder type who I had allowed
to be helpful to me in certain limited ways even though I knew to be careful
and guarded with them. At their insistence last year, they began storing
some of my stuff for me. I had kept refusing their offers of help several
times at first, but finally accepted in the end. This individual can be very
imposing and persistent when they want to help someone.
Anyway, I figured from several clues - including obvious statements from
them - that they blamed me for my situation, etc. Today he finally stated
such in the open directly to me. It is bad enough to be aware that someone
has these attitudes, but it is even far worse when they find ways for a
person to trust them and allow them to help and then they turn on you with
judgmental attitudes, blame, put downs and negativity. We are not close
friends either, though they seem to act like they are. None of what they
said to me is true either, not even close, but it is extremely harmful for
me to be treated in this way.
I did not do anything either except be a little late for when we were
supposed to meet. At their insistence, they were bringing me my stuff so I
could take what winter stuff I might need. We met at his car near one of the
public access online sites I go to.
Right off after I got there, when they asked about bringing my stuff to my
place (when they knew I had no place of my own), they started in with a
statement of accusation of "Why is that Morgan?!!!" and all the rest which
comes with it. They stated that they could not believe that I could not find
a place to live. He said that he had begun to suspect that it was me that
was at fault.
I got out of there real fast without my stuff since I have no way to carry
it or anywhere to store it. They dumped it on the sidewalk where it can stay
for all I care. As I was walking away, they kept yelling at me saying things
like "You want to be homeless".
I know for a fact that this person is use to working with people who submit
and who give up being independent in any sense.
That is the last I will ever be in contact with that individual and now I
will be less trusting of others even more than I have been. Very convenient
for those who either quietly or not so quietly blame me for the
circumstances I am in since this will only harm me and prevent me from
getting support I would need and otherwise be open to. Plus my stuff is left
to rot on the street since I refuse to touch it. I have no where to store it
anyway. The place I have - which is in Montpelier - to store some of my
stuff has no more room for anything more either.
As if I needed to be reminded what people really think of me. To be
basically told that they know better what is best for me and that if only I
let them or others do things for me and take control of my life for me that
my problems would be taken care of.
I went through something similar last year as well.
I wish that he and others would leave me and others alone if that is how
they are. Fact is that I did not seek him out or his help either in the
first place. Without my asking them to, someone else had asked him to help
me so I guess he felt he had to or whatever.
Just so you know, while this event is hurtful to me and makes me extremely
angry, I am not sharing this with you because I feel sorry for myself or
because I want or need you or others to feel sorry for me either. The plain
and straight fact is that I don't.
PHUCK IT!!! :-<< [major frown while biting hard on my lower lip]
I just wanted someone else to know.
Morgan W. Brown
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